Just for once I wish I wasn't always the murder victim in people's dreams.
Just for once I wish I got what I wanted.
Just for once I wish I was spoilt.
Just for once I wish I could make the right decisions in my life.
Just for once I wish my puppy wasn't the only one happy to see me when I got home.
Just for once I wish I wasn't an outsider.
Just for once I wish I could have things that other people take for granted.
Just for once I wish I didn't have to deliberately lose all games and competitions to placate my siblings.
Just for once I wish I could be the person that everyone expects me to be.
Just for once I wish I was like I used to be - happy, without pessimism.
Just for once I wish I was as good at something as she is.
Just for once I wish that I didn't get classed as a geek.
Just for once I wish that nobody expects me to be smart - I'm not.
Just for once I wish I could get a better report than her.
Just for once I wish I could give my report or my school photos to my parents, and not have to leave them partially hidden somewhere when nobody's looking.
Just for once I wish I knew what I wanted.
Just for once I wish that I wasn't so timid.
Just for once I wish that I didn't get manipulated.
Just for once I wish I could be her other half and not feel insignificant.
Just for once I wish that wishes could be granted.
......
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-LOVES-
lol at lauren 'glomp'. hehe.
ReplyDeleteLooking at it as a piece of writing a little more than an outpouring, I really like it.
As for the reality of it...-hugs-
Wish for love. Everything else will fix itself or hurt less once love comes. That's my motto. And you already have a great love. So, you're halfway there.
ReplyDeleteBenji, all it's gonna take turn that around is realizing that you MATTER.
ReplyDeleteTo Lauren, to your friends, to people who read your blog.
We know you matter. Do you know it?
See, Ben? You ARE wanted, you are loved, and you are appreciated - even by people you have never met in 'real life' -pokes Sal :)-
ReplyDeleteYou're a good kid, Bennifer, and I adore you. :)
hello...
ReplyDeletesorry for callin you a geek. for me its a term of affection, you see i love geeks more than any other people. :) sorry
and don't worry too much coz we'll fix those things :D or try.
just remember, you're a handsome man who lauren gets to have as a boyfriend. i think she's lucky, and sometimes i think you're lucky. but most of all, i'm lucky for having you both as friends. and even if you're not smart, you're smart enough :D any smarter and i'd be in an asylum (-cough i might already be cough-)
gosh im a weirdo for writing all that.
:) sorry